Redbull gives Felix wings, rips off everyone else

I watched the live feed of the Redbull Stratos live freefall with everyone else, that Sunday night, glued to the screen as Felix probably had an itch on his nose. Couldn’t stop thinking about that, what do you do if it itches?

I dislike Redbull intensely, except with vodka, then it makes sense. Like medicine. However, I am in awe of the Marketing Divinities that run their campaign, that have created a Church of Extreme Sports and Energy Drinks. We were all praying to Felix that day. Go Felix! Reach the heavens! Icarus is back and his wings are carbon fibre over a titanium skeleton.

Sometimes I get a feeling that a day will come to pass, maybe in my lifetime, when Brands become sovereign nations. Imagine…

Welcome to Redbull City, enjoy your stay.

*****

STRATOS

I’m drinking a Redbull.
They say its caffeine content is equal to a cup of coffee.
Maybe, but I’m entering the Troposphere now.
Me and you and everyone are flying skywards.
A planet-wide rollercoaster of people
watching a live YouTube feed in 1080p.
It’s lagging now and I feel faint. Crisp image,
now I feel better. Ascent speed is 0.9 meters per second.
Wow. This Taurine is good.
I wonder if Felix Baumgartner drinks Redbull.
Probably not. Astronauts are very smart.
Health matters. I’ve breached the Stratosphere,
it’s cold and my nose itches.
What if I throw up in my suit,
I mean, on my keyboard.
How much sugar is in this thing?
I’m feeling hyperactive.
I’m leaning forwards over a blue curve
and falling 36 kilometres spinning like a dead leaf,
an Austrian, highly-intelligent dead leaf
wearing a 200 000 dollar space suit.
My visor is foggy and I’m breaking the sound barrier,
thunderclaps like God is patting me on the back.
The clouds are smiling. Attaboy. Job well done.
I have this inherent distrust of marketing but I love
the idea of flying so much I’ll suspend my disbelief.
I should buy a GoPro camera.
I’m landing now, safe, rich and famous.
I should drink more Redbull.
It gave Felix wings.
Now I want wings.

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